Frankenlube

Ralph Schneider has a large collection of dead lubricants acquired over years of testing. He decided to cut down the mortuary storage problem by mixing all the best lubricants. All those lubes which were used by the top 50% of competitors at CBA matches were selected. Lesser lubes were sent to the dungeon. The result was a large pot of lube with some lubricants which did not melt completely. The non-cooperating components were fished out and buried with a wooden stake to prevent resurrection. The creation is a highly selected combination guaranteed to express the best qualities of each of the components. It is possible electricity was used in the conjoining process, the exact method is of course secret. The result is a brownish-gray soft lube with a light odor which is complex and enigmatic. Since it was born by melting, I applied it to heated 38 wadcutters and as expected, it smoothly liquefied to an even coating and gripped the bullets tightly. Subsequent testing showed the grip was inhumanly strong and prevented the lead from contacting barrel. The bullets were positively guided to the target which was a picture of a dark castle on a hill top in Transylvania. Science has triumphed!